For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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