TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
