It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
