he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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