all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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