He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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