so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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