used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
