Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
