so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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