where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
