Fuck appropriateness.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
