after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
