I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
