I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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