Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
