What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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