Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
PANTIES FOUND
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
