I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
