What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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