Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
