i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
