it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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