Do you still have your period?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
