cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
