i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
