I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
