I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
