Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
wat bout pragnant strippers??
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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