I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
