Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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