found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
