So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Randomize
