'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
