I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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