I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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