actually, I'm a sock model
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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