I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
