What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
