It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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