DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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