It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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