"it" just moved
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
