we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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