I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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