Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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