You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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