I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
