why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
