Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
