I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
