I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
