you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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