kristin has been a bad kristin
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
