I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
