margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
