I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
